Since my year of Hep C Treatment, I have a new normal...I just don't have the energy or stamina that I used to have, I'm more susceptible to getting sick and when I am sick, it can accelerate to something serious much more easily. For the most part, I've accepted this new normal...I'm sure my age and being overweight also contribute to it. My Mom, Grandma...actually all of my female relatives, were all strong, hardworking women and my brothers and I were taught the value of a good work ethic, which always meant if there was work to be done, get to it. Spring cleaning (done twice a year in the spring and fall) was a fact of life...heaven forbid if we had dirty baseboards! It's difficult to merge the old thought patterns taught to me by generations and merge it with today's world, and still be a sane woman. Like most women, I work 40 plus hours a week, manage our home, finances, grocery shopping, cooking, bill paying, plus shuttle Shanna to and from her activities. I'm not sure how women with more than one child manage their schedules?
We moved two years ago from a large house to a smaller condo with no outside upkeep...we love having our yardwork done every Wednesday by a maintenance crew who takes care of the whole complex (photo is of one of the "common areas in our condo complex). We didn't want to spend all our "at home time" cleaning, maintaining, doing yardwork, etc. It takes me 60-90 minutes to clean my home...I only do the upstairs (Shanna is responsible for her family room, bedroom and bathroom, and that is an entirely different post!!). Last week, for the first time in over a year, I skipped my weekly house clean...I was super busy at work, didn't feel good, had things going several nights...so I let it go. Somehow, a strange thing happens when I don't do my weekly house clean...the clutter increases too, so not only don't I have a clean house, but it feels messy too. It's driving me nuts...so my personal lesson is that housecleaning... that 60 to 90 minutes a week...are necessary for my mental health.
I don't "cook" every night. Shanna eats all the time and usually fixes her own meals. Russell gets home late, so I nearly always eat early and alone...so when I do cook, I make enough for several meals. I grew up with "family dinners" every night where we all sat down and ate together and although I love the idea, with our schedules, it just isn't going to happen. My point with all this is that it's hard to know what you can let go and what you need to do. My Mom didn't work outside the home until after we were all in high school. We didn't have the insane school, sports, music and church schedule that kids nowadays have. Where do you draw the line...where do we as women find the time to do the things we want without the guilt? For example, Shanna is playing in the pit orchestra for the upcoming school musical and practices start tomorrow. She also has tutoring tomorrow. Wednesday night is private saxophone lessons and her church life group. This Thursday (my house cleaning night) I start hosting a weekly women's life group in my home, something I am choosing to do for 10 weeks and even though I really want and need to make those personal, close relationships with other women...and yet, there's still a part of me that wants to cancel because it's one more thing in my life...but this is something that I NEED in my life...that leaves Monday and Friday nights and the weekend to get everything else done.
We have deliberately set aside Saturday as "our day". We always sleep in...with my health history and the really long hours Russell works, we find that if we don't sleep in one day a week, it really affects our energy, mood and stamina for the upcoming week. Now Shanna has drivers education class every Saturday (9 to noon) from now until December 6...plus 12 hours of driving time scheduled in. Saturdays have, for the last several years, been our day to "play" in our craft room...Russell and I share a craft room (it's actually the master bedroom of the condo but it's the biggest room other than the living or dining room). The photo above is my half of the craft room (I'll have to take some photos of Russell's half). Russell does model railroading and I scrapbook. We save our weekly shows on the DVR and watch them together on Saturdays while we're crafting. Shanna used to join us and play with Legos, have craft projects, etc. but as she's grown older, she is more likely to spend time with friends or stay in her room.
Other than making my transformation notebook, I haven't scrapbooked in over two months...and I miss it so much. Russell made the comment yesterday that he hopes we can spend some time in the craft room this weekend...we both rely on that time to relax, escape into our crafts, spend time together and talk. Sometimes, we'll spend the first hour or so just listening to music and catch up with each other. Sunday is church and we attend two of the three services...one for actual church and the other for a life group (parents of teens) while Shanna attends the regular church service and then youth church. Sunday afternoons are nearly always "couch potato" time...where we watch movies, read, take a nap and don't do anything.
Shuttling Shanna around to her activities will only be for another year or two...part of me rejoices and looks forward to that and the other part of me grieves that she is nearly grown-up and won't need me to drive her around much longer. We each have "seasons" of our life and right now, with a busy teenager, this season is more about keeping up with Shanna than satisfying my own needs and yet, I can't and don't want to ignore those wants and needs...but that's what we, as women, so often do. How do you balance everything and still have time (and energy) for you? That's my question to you...do you feel like you're putting yourself on the back burner or do you make time for you?