Retreats, Friendship and Change

I’m not normally a reader of self-help books...when I read, I like to escape, so my usual preference is romantic suspense, murder mysteries, contemporary novels, etc. However, on the recommendation of BonnieRose on her blog, A Life Unrehearsed, I bought the book “A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People” by Joan Anderson.  This book was such a balm to my soul and made me feel like I'm not the only woman who wants more.

 

I am 48 years old and while I'm not unhappy in my life...I have an awesome husband and a great marriage, a 16 year old daughter (who is, for the most part, a great kid), a job I like, a church that we love being a part of...and yet, there is within myself a yearning and need to change. It has nothing to do with my family, home or job. Like most women, I’ve been so busy raising a child, working full-time, keeping up our home, tending to my marriage and health, etc. that I’ve neglected to nourish myself and keep up my friendships.

It's already August and I can't help but feel that the year is half over and what have I done? I feel like I live my life on a conveyor belt...round and round, the same thing every day. I want to make a difference, to go beyond my comfort zone and experience more of life, to have more "real" friends, to let loose, allow myself to be silly and free. I've always done what's expected of me, been the organized, responsible person and actually, don't know how to change...but I want to.

I’ll be 49 next month. Since I can’t afford a Joan Anderson retreat, I’m gifting myself with a beach retreat of my own (accompanied by my husband, who is looking forward to some rest and relaxation). We’ve reserved a house at the beach for three days. I call it “Beach Bliss”…time to pray, meditate and journal, while seeking direction and wisdom to make the changes within myself that I need to. I discovered the website, www.awomansway.comand purchased her Personal Retreat Kit (available in downloadable form or as an actual kit with book, CD, etc.). I chose the downloadable kit and am looking forward to delving into the questions and exercises. 

 

“Smelling the salt of the ocean, feeling the touch of the sea, there is no better way of setting your spirit free.”

One of the blogs I read regularly is Ali Edwards…she recently went on a beach retreat with a group of women she met online who share an interest in art, writing and photography. She wrote a few sentences about the retreat, posted a photo on her blog and included links to each of the other women’s blogs who shared the beach retreat. I spent several hours yesterday reading their blogs and filling my soul with their photos and words. A few in particular touched a chord.

 

Andrea, on her blog http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/, wrote “We got to see ourselves this weekend. We got to see our spirits reflected back to us. In a world where all we notice what's wrong, how far we have to go, what we need to fix...it is a rare gift. What an incredible thing, to see ourselves as we truly are, the magic of ourselves, the gift of us. Not the better lose this, trim this, icky, what's my hair doing, scrunch of the face we often do in the mirror, but the seeing the best of who we are reflected back to us in someone else's eyes. We didn't plan it this way but I saw it unfold all around us. Unspoken or not, there were whispers in the cool, salty air...I see you. I see how wise you are, and funny...Wow, you are so powerful and tender all at the same time. You are a safe haven, it's good to be near you...It's hard to put into words. We vacillated between deep talks and tears that surprised us to silly dancing around the bonfire with wigs and outrageous laughter. There's something special that happens when girls get together. It's intimate, it's fun, it's silly, it's sacred. This was all of those things.”

 

I have many women "acquaintances" but few close women friends. I would love to find a group of women with whom I could share that kind of relationship…not just the surface stuff, but the deeper stuff. Friendships like that to time to create and nurture, which is why so many women, myself included, find themselves in their middle years with few “real” friends. Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet though, meeting kindred spirits is possible…I have to believe I'm not alone in wanting more…wanting to change myself… to create a more authentic, fun, life for myself. So, I’m opening up my heart and soul and praying that God will bring into my life other women who wish for the same thing...so that we can share the journey...

Comments

[Stacy McGinnis]

Hi Kathryn!
I saw your question on 2 peas and clicked on it because I have wondered the same thing. I started my blog in January and I think I've posted, ummm, 6 times? Pretty sad, I know. I guess I'm still not sure what I want to do with it.
I too have made some wonderful friends via the blog world but truly it is hard to make close women friends, it does take time. I just wanted to leave you a comment because I know it is fun to get one!
Stacy

[jill]

Kathryn your new blog looks great! It looks like we visit some of the same blogs. Very nice scrapbook room :)

About your question on 2Peas, I don't know of a book for typepad but their FAQ, search and "ticket system" is great. That is all I used when I started almost 3 years ago. Feel free to email me if you have specific questions.

[bonnierose]

Congrats on this wonderful new blog.. and raises my hand, I'm one of those women too! Let's share the journey, together! hugs