Musings of an Unfinished Woman

Changes with CKD...

It’s no surprise that I need to make some lifestyle changes…this last year...my Type A personality back in full force crazy busy

living and managing our lives…job, home, keeping up with a busy 16 year old…all while putting my physical, spiritual and mental health on the back burner. I haven’t felt good about myself for awhile…I’ve gained weight, have been depressed and am exhausted and stressed out. Several months ago I wrote about making a “Transformation”…and I did take some small steps in the right direction…but not enough and now…it’s like God has to knock me on the side of the head to get my attention…and He did…after my lab work last week, my primary care physician (thank you God for such an awesome doctor) referred me to a Nephrologist. What’s that you ask? I had never heard of that term either…but it’s a kidney doctor and I now have one…and it looks like we’ll become well acquainted…I had my first appointment with him this last Monday.

I have "Chronic Kidney Disease" (CKD) and am in stage 3 of 5. A perfect

GFR (some kind of kidney number) is 130, mine is 40. If my number gets below 30, then it will be time to look at treatment options for kidney failure. Having battled a major disease just five years ago, I’m afraid, discouraged, and so wondering why me. I’ve gone into research mode the last few days…trying to figure out exactly what CKD is and what I need to do to combat it. On Tuesday, Shanna and I had a hideous argument (kids seem to know when you’re at your most vulnerable), so after 24 hours of being angry and upset, I came home yesterday from work and hit bottom (or as Russell calls it, “the main line busted”) and had myself a good cry…you know the kind…huge loud sobbing, feeling like your heart is breaking as you pour your heart out to the Lord…healing but so exhausting. My wonderful sweetheart just held me while I cried my heart out…

My new Nephrologist is hopeful that with some major lifestyle changes (what a surprise!) and a couple new medications I can keep my numbers about where they are. This whole thing started after my Hep C treatment...one of the "rare side effects" of the treatment. I'm also in the rare category of having low potassium and sodium (usually people are too high). Feeling better today and moving from shock and grief to acceptance…and needing to move forward with my “lifestyle changes. I know I’m in God’s hands and believe that He will be with me through this battle too.

 

I've started two new medications, Kaiser will call to set-up a kidney CT scan and I have to attend a "Be Kind to Your Kidney" class. Depending on what the medication does and how my tests go in the next three months, he may do a kidney biopsy. Anyone who knows me knows that I love Diet Coke...he told me I could continue to drink Diet Coke in moderation but have to drink more water (there's a surprise!). I'm not a big meat eater, which is a positive for me since too much protein is hard on the kidneys. I had to go in for more lab work...it’s the third set of lab work I've done in a week...my arms look like someone has beat me up. My blood pressure was super high during my appointment, which isn't good, so I need to find ways to "reduce my stress"...aside from moving to the Oregon coast, not sure how I’m going to accomplish that.

Got home from work today and Shanna had cleaned house…a sweet and wonderful way to apologize for being such a poop…so I went for a lovely walk in the fog. I need to get outside more often and connect with nature, it was a wonderful, stress-relieving break...and made me realize how out of shape I’m in, another thing to work on as part of my new “lifestyle change”. I'm a little overwhelmed but feeling better about my prognosis. I am so very very thankful to have REALLY good insurance. Part of my weight problems are related to all this and some of the meds I'm taking...so my new doctor is setting me up with a Kaiser Dietitian to help me come up with a workable diet that will work for me (and hopefully will like) and will help me lose weight.

 

If anyone knows how to cook veggies in a steamer and make them taste good, I would love your recipes (also anything with fish or chicken). I ordered from Amazon a double steamer food/rice cooker and am looking forward to making great, hopefully tasty, healthy meals (with veggies) in this new wonder machine. I like the veggies they serve in restaurants that are flavored and crisp...I think part of my aversion to vegetables is that my Mom always cooked them until they either exploded or were rubber.

So tonight…I’m thankful for my wonderful husband, who is always gentle and understanding and who has really great insurance through his work; for great doctors; for friends who have reached out to encourage and comfort me, and for Amazon (which delivered my new vegetable/rice steam cooker) and their Prime shipping program (which costs $79 a year but has saved us TONS of money). It’s absolutely amazing what you can get through Amazon (vitamins, appliances, books, you name it) and with Amazon Prime, it all arrives in two days with no extra shipping charges and you can shop in the comfort of your own home (I know that just sounded like an infomercial, but really something that wonderful should be shared with friends!). Happy almost Friday!

Back to the Real World

Afterr 9 lovely, stress-free days off, Russell and I went back to work today...neither of us were ready but given the state of the world, we are so very thankful to have good jobs and great benefits. We started our vacation with our trip to the beach (the picture to the left is a river running into the ocean...I LOVE the sound of water babbling...it's so comforting). We came home to high winds and freezing temperatures. Last Monday was our appointment day...you know, the "annual physical" with all the extra fun girl tests, and for me, more lab work, then on to get my hair cut and highlighted and my nails done. We watched the Obama Inauguration on Tuesday morning. It was a lovely ceremony and his girls are so cute. I thought Aretha Franklin did an amazing job singing the national anthem (despite the rather ugly hat).

Other than taking Shanna to and from school and then to life group on Wednesday (we went on a date to Red Lobster), we just stayed home and relaxed...caught up on movies, read and crafted. I scrapbooked and got 19 pages completed and am working on getting more prepped. Russell made a bunch of trees for his model railroad. We had a very laid-back, relaxing week...not as much sleep as we would have liked...seems our bodies have gottenn used to getting up at O'Dark O'clock, which is really sad.

I've been meaning to share photos of our new craft space. We redid our room with Ikea...the wall bookcases are the Expedit. We love our re-designed space. Lots more room and way less clutter.

My scrap space...

Looking at Russell's side of the room and the window to the wooded area outside.

Russell's desk and model railroad layout.

The rest of Russell's model railroad layout, our TV (sitting on my file cabinets, which holds most of my photos and memorabilia and 2 drawers of 8.5x11 cardstock).

I have room to have 4 friends over to scrap...anyone want to join me for a craft day.

 

A Respite From Life

Russell and I ran away for two days of together time…time to catch our breath, to relax, reconnect and gain some perspective on our life…past, present and future. There’s no doubt that last year…2008…was a difficult year for us…not in the respect that we suffered any tragedies or huge losses, but difficult in that it was an exhausting, non-stop, grinding whirlwind of work (and more work), keeping up with Shanna and all her school, church and extracurricular activities…and not enough time spent on nurturing our marriage, our family, our bodies and souls. So I started this year almost 40 pounds heavier, discouraged, exhausted, and physically worn out, both of us with bodies aching from age, too much work and not enough exercise. With Shanna out of town at her Mexico Advance for church, we drove to Cannon Beach on Saturday, January 17.

We drove up Highway 30 and stopped at a rest area with breath-taking ice and snow-covered trees and a view of the Columbia River. We stopped for a quick lunch, shopping at Scrapbook Connection and then checked in at our hotel, Hallmark Resort. Our room had a spectacular view of Haystack Rock. We splurged and booked a spa afternoon…a massage and foot treatment for Russell and a facial and massage for me. After two hours of pure bliss, we wobbled our way back to the hotel…just in time to witness a gorgeous sunset. We had dinner at one of our favorite coast restaurants…Doogers and fell asleep by 9:30…unheard of for us.

Sunday, January 18 was one of those unexpected miracles of the Oregon coast…a warm (60 degrees) with no wind days…we did a bit of shopping but spent most of the day on the beach walking, talking, praying and just soaking in the miracle of the ocean. We found a card that totally expresses how we feel about the beach: I come to the sea to breathe…and so we did. The ocean is a balm to my soul…a place where I can let go of my stress and just let the spirit of our Creator calm me…where I can give my burdens to Him…where I can cry and sing and rejoice in this beautiful place and come back to my life with a sense of hope and renewal. Thanks to Jennifer, my sister-in-law, who picked Shanna up from church and brought her home so we could stay and watch an absolutely stunning sunset before heading home.