Musings of an Unfinished Woman

Printer Problems and Pages

I’m having a printer problem which is making me crazy and crabby. Somehow, while printing something from Photoshop Elements yesterday, my new printer communicated to my computer that “normal paper size” is 10x11 and nothing (I mean NOTHING) I’ve done will change it. Was so out of sorts after messing with it last night until almost midnight, so when it became apparent that (a) I wasn’t going to get the issue fixed last night and (b) I was so worked up I wasn’t tired, I decided to clean house. Second night in a row with just four hours of sleep. Thank God for Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.

Shanna took me to IHop for breakfast this morning. We both love their French Toast. It’s a wonderful thing when your child invites you out to eat AND pays! She had a doctor appointment this morning and then we did a bit of shopping...we are starting to get to that place that I’ve dreamed about for so long...where we’re having a good time together and we’re having real conversations. If you’ve never been to Great Harvest Bakery (the one at Clackamas Promenade is the best) you’re missing out on great sandwiches, bread and cookies. Bought a sandwich and we met Russell for lunch (plus I bought a loaf of honey wheat bread to share with my life group tonight) along with the soup one of the ladies is bringing.

Shanna is having her tattoo surgically removed tomorrow so we’re praying hard that the physician can do this with a minimum of scarring and pain and that she’ll be able to keep her job at UPS until she’s ready to join the Marines and head to boot camp.

My printer went bonkers yesterday while I was working on a digital page for my Yesterday and Today class. I like the idea of digital scrapping but right now, it seems like a lot more work and it takes me forever to figure everything out...usually I'm really good with software programs, but somehow, Photoshop (any version) really flummoxes me. So, back to paper scrapping I go. Have all the lessons printed out in a notebook. Part of the homework was to take an inventory of the pages I've already completed and determine if I like the type and style of my scrapbook pages and what subjects, events, etc. have I not yet scrapped that I want to. It's been an interesting discovery. I've done several hundred layouts of Shanna through the years, quite a few of our Disney trips, have done some "about me" pages, but despite being very happily married for 28 years, haven't really scrapped the story of Russell and I, so that's what I'm choosing to do for this class. One of the other exercises for the class is to come up with a list of pages that I want to do. I've been in a scrapping drought for almost a year and just felt like I had lost my scrapping and creative mojo, but now, I've got a huge list of pages I want to do so I'm back to scrapping again, which makes me very happy!!

Hoping to get my printer issue figured out soon so I can finish my page.

 

 

 

Comfort and Self-Acceptance

It is a gorgeous sunny day here in my corner of the world (which means it’s windy and cold). I’m snuggled up in my craft room ready to dive into some of my homework for “Yesterday and Today” class, plus some prep work for my life group which officially starts tomorrow night. We’re studying “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl” by Lysa Terkeurst. The first chapter is about trying to be good enough and learning to accept ourselves just as we are, just as God created us. I think this is particularly difficult for women. We seem to have this compulsive need to compare ourselves to others. Why is that? Self-acceptance and love is absolutely critical in being content and happy in our lives...why is it that we can love and accept others for who they are...love their imperfect lives and bodies but can’t give ourselves the same gift of love and grace? Something to ponder. Isn't my Shanna girl cute with her pointy little hair-do and plaid shirt? I love how comfortable she is in her own skin...she embodies the confidence I want to have.

A few of my favorite things...on days like today when I’m cold and achy, I am comforted and warmed by certain things. There’s nothing like home-made Mac and cheese, or a scented candle. I am loving these Candle Warmers which look like a little lamp but actually melt the candle and release the scent without the smoke. My favorite candle scent is Cinnamon or Apple Spice.

When I took my walk yesterday, I took my camera and got a couple photos...one a sign of spring (see below) and another I’m calling the Mystery of the Mitten...some Mom somewhere is wondering where the heck the other mitten is!

 
I interviewed for a job recently and the interview took place at a restaurant. Not sure if I got the job but one thing really bothered me. The person interviewing me ordered a beverage but didn’t offer me anything...rude much?

Happy Tuesday.

 

Trying to keep up

Life seems to be zooming faster than I can keep up. Can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I posted. In that time, my Mother-in-Law had vascular surgery and was in the hospital for three nights. Between Russell, Shanna and I, we have had 17 doctor appointments and one trip to the ER. Shanna has had some health issues as have I. In order to reach a diagnosis, I’ve had a total of 29 vials of blood in four separate lab appointments. We’ve cleaned out my in-laws basement and hauled three loads of stuff to the dump and another three loads to Goodwill. I have sorted through 20 years of my in-laws papers and photos, which took up 22 boxes in our basement. I have applied for 36 jobs and since my last post, Russell and I have taken more than 5,000 photos (once again, thankful for digital!), most of them taken while on vacation at Disney World. It’s been two months of highs and lows.

Some of the Highlights:

• Ten days away with my sweetheart in Orlando, staying at our Disney Vacation Club resort. This vacation was a blessing in that the condo was free (we are DVC members), we had free airline tickets so the cost was fairly minimal. Russell and I had a great time taking photos, eating good food, sleeping in.
• New medications for me that help with pain management.
• Shanna got a job at UPS. She’s working the sunrise shift at the airport and while it’s not a lot of hours, it’s a job!!! Yahoo! (See photo below...Shanna with her first paycheck).
• Russell’s back is healed. Thank you Lord for that.
• My unemployment was renewed for another six weeks.
• Shanna's new ultra-short, very cute, easy to care for haircut.
• So thankful for fabulous healthcare. I can’t say enough good things about my doctor and Kaiser.
• Have compiled all the info for 2010 taxes and am ready to plug in the numbers after the first of the year.
• Supportive friends and family to help Shanna with some health issues while Russell and I were gone.
• Helping my mother-in-law “unclutter” and get rid of so much stuff.
• Attending the Trailblazers “Fan Fest”, a fun night of seeing our team practice, listening to interviews, etc.

 
 

Some of the lows:

• A diagnosis of fibromyalgia. While I’m thankful to have a diagnosis, it’s a chronic disease that really has no cure, so I have to find a way to deal with it and still maintain.
• Too many sleepless nights while I learn how to manage my medication and learn to listen to my body and take it before I am almost insane with pain. Learning what my body is physically capable of doing without pushing myself too far.
• Nine unseasonably hot days at Disney World (90’s with unusually high humidity). I don’t do well in hot weather and after 2 days of the heat and walking for what seemed like miles, we were both hurting so bad we went to Plan B...which for me is just letting go and not having any expectations (hard to do for a Type A personality!). Thank God for Vicodan and a whirlpool tub in our room.
• It's been three years since we've gone to a popular vacation spot and we were so shocked at how many rude, screaming, out-of-control children there were and how many people were constantly on their phones...texting, twittering, talking, etc. We didn't carry our phones with us most of the time...we wanted to get away and knew that Shanna had a good support system here if anything happened. While we were there, Epcot was hosting the Wine and Food Festival (which means there were a lot of people drinking and combine that with the heat and you have loud, rude people!). The parks were crowded and everything seemed to be louder....loud people, loud music, and screaming children. 

 
Russell and I went on a photo date last Saturday and took some great photos of the fall landscapes. It's so windy here today that nearly all the leaves are stripped off the trees. Now that daylight savings time is gone, the days seem dark and gloomy. I've discovered how much I love the scent of apple cinnamon candles along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Costco (a wonderful, inexpensive treat for only $8.99!) to grace my table and mantle. We love the Christmas season and Shanna wants the Christmas stuff up NOW...so I think we'll get it up this weekend...we're already listening to Christmas music.

Happy Wednesday!

Is Something Good not Happening?

One of the blogs I read is that of Alan Clother, Executive Pastor at our church. He wrote a post several weeks ago that has stayed with me. He wrote: “Saturday night at church I was a little tired, and maybe, just maybe, life was not going exactly my way. I have a lot of trouble hiding how I'm feeling at times.” Someone asked him “Is something good not happening?" His response and mine is what a wonderful positive spin on "what's wrong?" I have written that question down on a post-it note next to my computer and also in my planner that I carry everywhere. Too often we allow the little upsets and annoyances of life to take over our thought process, which in turn makes us crabby, sad and emotionally spent. It can become a viscous cycle.

I interviewed for a job yesterday and the owners of the company are a Christian couple. In our conversation, she shared with me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer last December and is fighting for her life now. Having experienced numerous health issues in the last decade, I was touched that she would share that with me. It was a reminder of how precious life is. While driving home, I kept thinking about the phrase “is something good not happening”. In that same blog post, Alan wrote “How much of our time do we spend waiting for something good, versus celebrating what is good?” That’s a powerful question and one we each need to ask ourselves. We have so much to celebrate in our lives...each day that we wake up is a blessing. I am loved by God and am blessed to have a wonderful husband with whom I am madly in love, a healthy happy daughter who is on her way to a great future, family who loves me just the way I am. I have so much and while I do struggle with health issues, I am ALIVE, which means that something good IS happening! Another reminder to myself on a post-it note is: "Going strong: working my way to fabulous". It's a reminder to me to stay positive every day, even when my body is aching and so tired and my spirits are dropping.

We live in a beautifully landscaped condo complex and one of the perks is that we don’t have to do any yard work. Every Wednesday, rain or shine, a crew from Willamette Landscaping descends on the complex and six hours later, everything is mowed, edged, raked and weeded. I told a couple of them this morning how much I appreciate their hard work and how much we enjoy our beautiful landscaping. They looked a bit baffled that someone would tell them thank you, which made me wonder how often we take the time to tell someone they are doing a good job, or that they are making a difference in your life?

Speaking of good things...Shanna brought me flowers (see photo below) and a card for my birthday and yesterday we spent a couple hours at IKEA browsing and having dinner. It was a fun, harmonious time together. It was fun to see her choices for furniture, house wares, wall art, etc. There's something about a vase of flowers that just makes my heart happy...it's one of the wonderful gifts that God has created.

Celebrate what is good in your life. Psalms 136: “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever”.

End of week musings...

Caught this beautiful sunset while we were at my Dad's house the other night. I’m saying a prayer of thanks for air conditioning! I’m not a fan of hot weather (I burn really easily and get heat stroke and terrible headaches when I’m in the sun too long). When we were house hunting in 1993, we happened to stop at an open house in a lovely neighborhood that I said I never wanted to live in before (I thought the school district was crappy)…and of course, we fell in love with the house. One of the things we loved was the air conditioning, something we’d never had before. 17 years later, I wouldn’t dream of living without it. It’s as essential as heat in the wintertime. Yes, I’m cold half the time but I can bundle up or take a hot shower and get warm.

It’s finally cooled down after several weeks of hot weather and the mornings have been deliciously cool…great walking weather. My hubby is happy with the cooler weather too… I may have mentioned before that he’s a UPS driver. What most people don’t know is that UPS trucks are not air-conditioned (even in Arizona or those other hot, humid states), which means that on a 98 degree day, the back of his truck is HOT (usually up between 130-140 degrees. He got a second-degree burn on his arm from one of the shelves last week. One of the things I was really conscious of when we owned our scrapbook store was how hard those driers work and how hot they get in weather like this, so I always had a cold bottle of water for our driver, Mark, who still is a driver! Last week one of his regular delivery stops had a cold bottle of Gatorade for him…which made his day. It made me think about the “random acts of kindness” that we can each do to make a difference in someone’s life. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can leave my mark on this world. The book “In a Heartbeat, Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving” has given me an awareness about of the countless opportunities we have to touch someone’s life in a positive way, whether it’s just a smile and a happy greeting, helping someone load their groceries in the car or buying the next person in line their beverage or meal. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture…someone gave Russell a cold Gatorade on a really hot day after he hauled 25 cases of paper up a flight of stairs to their office. He was so thrilled to get that cold drink and a thank you. I am challenging myself to look for opportunities to “cheerfully give”.

One of my favorite things about summer is the wonderful fruit. The grapes and strawberries have been especially delicious this year. Costco had yummy blackberries and raspberries yesterday when I went shopping. My aunt and uncle had a cherry orchard and it was such a treat to eat the cherries right off the tree. I remember my Mom spending a lot of time every summer picking fruit and making peach and strawberry freezer jam and canning fruits for the winter. At the time, I didn’t appreciate how much work went into preserving food. I don’t have a photo, but I have a picture in my mind of the shelves in our basement full of canned peaches, pears, etc.

After months of not feeling good, being so sore and achy all the time and other “symptoms”, my chiropractor (who is absolutely awesome and gives a great massage before every adjustment) told me that I needed to see a doctor. So after a huge round of lab tests (10 vials of blood, the most ever taken from me in a 24 hour period!), my doctor is referring me to a rheumatologist. In the meantime, I am taking a muscle relaxer and if needed, a pain medication to help me sleep and alleviate some of the pain. The process of elimination now begins…it’s seems clear from the lab tests so far that I have some type of auto-immune disease. My symptoms are similar to that of fibromyalgia, but they have to do more tests to figure what I don’t have in order to figure out what I do have. The good news…my kidney functions are better than they’ve been in over a year. Still not normal but the reality is that they won’t ever be “normal” again so I’ll take what I can get.

Have been taking early morning walks…sometimes I start out so slow I feel like a 100 year old turtle but after a few blocks, I can usually pick up the pace. Love walking in the mornings when everything is still covered with the morning dew and the neighborhoods are quiet except for the few early risers. Every morning I pass a house where an older gentleman always greets me with “Top of the morning to you miss”. Love it. I’m on the lookout for something to carry my cell phone and house key. I have some comfortable workout pants but they don’t have a pocket. I don’t listen to an IPod on my walk…the sounds of nature provide the background music I need to pray and reflect. I tried a small over the neck purse yesterday but that was just annoying so I’m searching for an armband accessory. Cathy Zielske has been on a quest for fitness this year and some of her accessories and workout clothes are (in her words) “Oh for cute” (Isn’t that a sweet expression). Anyway, I am not a fitness guru by any means but am working on staying active. Am going to try a new water aerobics class that is offered more often than the one I’ve been going to.

I am getting together with a couple of friends for a scrapping get-together on Saturday. Not sure if I’m going to scrapbook (it’s hard for me to scrap and talk at the same time!), so I may work on cards…maybe even Christmas cards, but I know for a fact that M&M’s and yummy snacks and food will be part of our day!

The ugly side of life

This is not a typical blog post full of flowers and praise for my wonderful world. It’s a dose of reality in all of its ugliness but I feel compelled to be honest. Life isn’t all rainbows and sunflowers. Sometimes it’s hurt feelings, angry words, lies and bad behavior.

I just finished reading a truly fabulous book that I highly recommend. It was written by Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy, titled “In a Heartbeat - Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving”. If you recognize the names, then you’ve probably seen the movie “The Blind Side” which is one of my all-time favorite movies. This book was an absolutely engaging, powerful book on giving, and the power of one. It was not about how much money you have but what you do with what you have – your money, time and talents. Giving and making a difference in the life of just one person can have far-reaching effects. The book also included a lot of the Tuohy’s philosophy on child-rearing, including making your child be involved in giving back, setting strict limits (and being consistent) in allowing TV time, cell phones and all the other electronic distractions that our so much a part of our world.

I finished the book on Friday afternoon and then we had an “incident” over the weekend which made me wish we had followed our parent’s example and that of the Tuohy’s in raising their children to be more giving and aware of others. The biggest mistake we have made with Shanna is over-indulging her. Like many of her generation, she has entitlement issues, due in part to being the last grandchild on both sides of the family and perhaps due in part to being adopted and us wanting to give this wonderful gift from God all that we didn’t have growing up. Both Russell and I grew up in poor families and our parents worked insane hours to put a roof over our head and food on the table. We had very few luxuries or extras growing up, but both of us have really good memories of our childhoods. My Mom didn’t allow us to watch TV…it was “go outside and play”. We both had jobs by the time we were 12…and we’ve worked our entire lives.

Saturday started badly because we both woke with terrible headaches. We have discovered Excedrin for Migraines (we call them magic pills around here), and even those didn’t help our aching heads. While we were eating breakfast, I asked Russell if he had moved my phone since it wasn’t on the table where I left it. Nope he hadn’t seen it. After several hours of looking for my phone (which isn’t the first time it’s been lost in the last couple of months), I was in tears and upset with myself (because I’m having health problems which include fuzzy brain and forgetfulness), only to discover that Shanna “borrowed it” because her phone had died (from not being charged) and she forgot to return it (she thought that she had). By the time the phone was found and returned, I was exhausted from the unrelenting headache and angry that she took my phone without asking. I had one of those sobbing meltdowns that leave you shaky, exhausted and looking all red and blotchy. I didn't want to be a raving lunatic but that's what I ended up feeling like...yes it's only a phone, but it's mine and I wouldn't ever take hers without asking first.

This incident was a wakeup call to Russell and I that she’s now an adult…and we need to start treating her like one. She’s had a fabulous summer with a trip to southern California, lots of overnights with friends, lazy afternoons at the river, dinners out, etc…and now her graduation money is gone. The reality is that being an adult is hard work and oftentimes really sucks. If you have a small child, I highly recommend the following two books: “Parenting with Love and Logic” and “In a Heartbeat”. Don’t over-indulge your child. Let them earn and work for things they really want – it will mean more to them. Russell and I are both hard-working people with very strong work ethics but somehow we didn’t model that well enough for our child (or maybe it’s lying dormant and will come to light when she gets a job). Show your children how to be responsible and provide them with the example of giving to others.

The book by the Tuohy’s was a powerful, thought-provoking book which has given me a lot to think about (the mistakes we made with Shanna) and my own attitude about giving. The Tuohy’s call it the “power of cheerful giving” and they model it after the lessons from Jesus. I want to be a cheerful giver, to make a difference in the lives of others, to find my purpose in life…so that’s my wish and my prayer. A quote that I love from the book is: “Everyone has a blind side, but a loving heart always sees a path toward true charity”. God, please open my eyes and heart to what you want me to see.

So there you have it…a tale from the dark side of our lives. Back to flowers and other fabulous things tomorrow. 

 

The Miracle of Love

Russell and I went to a dahlia farm on Saturday with my brother, Curtis, and his wife Jennifer. We had an unseasonably cool/wet spring and summer was late coming to Oregon so the dahlia’s (actually anything that’s growing here) is several weeks behind. The dahlias aren’t quite in full-bloom, but we managed to get some great photos. We were only in the full sun for about an hour but it was enough to give me a sun burn. I’ve posted some of our photos on my new photo blog, but here’s a couple to share.

 
I was up all night Sunday night with stomach issues and finally got to sleep at 4:45 in my red recliner in the living room, only to be woken up by Russell at 5:30 asking if I was alright. He’s such a sweetheart. This post (Me & Josh Downs) written by Karen Russell struck a chord with me. There’s a scene from an Everybody Loves Raymond episode titled “Misery Loves Company” that I really love. Robert and Amy are celebrating three months of marriage with a dinner party, and they’re so happy that they feel compelled to give marriage advice. I love Marie’s response to their advice. "We've been married 46 years. We've seen the lows and we've seen the highs. In a real marriage there’s going to be yelling and anger. Don’t fight it…accept it. Keep your head down and you plow through. Marriage is real…we’re okay with each other and you want to know why…we’ve been through it all and we’ve endured.”

Russell and I will celebrate our 28^th anniversary on November 20 (look at us...so young and clueless!). Marriage really is about enduring…it’s about surviving crappy jobs, finances stretched to the limit, too much work and too little sleep, illness, unreliable cars, exhaustion, fighting for time together in between work, home and childrearing, believing in God and miracles when your world is crashing around you and life is a daily challenge. But through it all, we made a pact that we would never tear each other down in front of other people, that we would make our marriage a priority, and that we would always be “the one” for each other. Russell and I have a fabulous marriage, which isn’t to say that we’ve have a perfect marriage…I tend to be the dominant personality in this duo (I bet that surprises you all!), and while I’m a “jump in with both feet but may not finish something” kind of a person, Russell is a slow-starter, but has the patience and endurance to get us to the finish line. He is without a doubt the most patient, gentle, kind man I have ever met and he has NEVER raised his voice to me (and there have been plenty of times in our marriage when he probably should have). I’m a yeller (not as much as I used to be) and he’s the quiet, patient one.

Neither of us were looking for love when we met…I was a widow at the age of 21 and he was a geeky guy working two jobs and trying to pay off bills. We met at McDonald's (he trained me on how to cook a hamburger). We were friends who fell in love. We agreed that we would always make a big deal of our anniversary and we have…sometimes it was a cheap “we’re at home but everyone thinks we’re gone” getaway, but always, we have celebrated our anniversary. I would rather spend time with Russell than with anyone else…we both cherish our time together and even now, my heart leaps when the phone rings between 11 and noon every day. We have shared a craft room together for a number of years (he model railroads and I scrapbook). With my enrollment in Karen Russell’s photography class, we discovered it’s a hobby/passion we both enjoy so we are having a blast together with the photography thing.

Every marriage has the ups and downs of closeness and intimacy…which are often sacrificed in the everyday insanity of life…work, home, bills, family, children, church, sleep, etc. And then…something miraculous happens and you have that special spark back. We’re riding that high again and while it’s embarrassing to our 18 year old; we’re crazy in love and having such a good time. I’ll be 51 in one month…I’m overweight, out of work, having health issues again (still) and yet, my husband looks at me with the look that melts my insides and I thank God once again for this wonderful man and the miracle of love. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have this kind of marriage and trust me, we don’t take it for granted.

One of the secrets I'll share is this...for many years, when Russell was working two jobs and there were some days we only saw each other for a few minutes, we started writing notes to each other in a journal. I have insomnia issues and Russell often goes to bed earlier than I do, so we're still writing notes, usually once or twice a week. We have filled several journals and I love going back through them...they are the every day details of our lives...reminders, complaints and praises of our family life. But they are also a love note and they never, ever get old. Write your sweetie a note - in a journal or on a post-it note and put it in his lunch box...it never fails to thrill me when I see he's written me a note in the journal or when I see that he's still carrying one in his lunch box that I wrote to him months ago...romance and the wooing of each other, never grows old.

 

 

Middle of the Week Musings

Hello hello...the calendar says it's August 4 but it's 62 degrees right now and I'm FREEZING! I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a fan of really hot weather but really...this is the middle of summer and I'm huddling under a blanket. Seems wrong!

My wonderful in-laws, Charlotte and Subby, along with Alvina (Charlotte's sister) are leaving on Friday morning and driving to Bismarck, North Dakota, which is where my husband was born. That's where most of their extended family lives. The last time they went back (in 2006), it was just Shanna and my mother-in-law and they flew. From here to Bismarck is 1,300 miles and they are driving a small motor home. They are also taking their two dogs. They are hoping to make it back there in three to four days. Russell and I took a small road trip up to Washington in April and over a week's time, drove about 800 miles - that was more than enough road trip for me. I'm a big fan of flying and unless I had a lot of time and money, wouldn't dream of driving half way across America (fortunately, Russell and I have agree that we are not motor home people).

This photo is of my in-laws. They will celebrate 56 years of marriage this month. They are so cute together and I'm so very blessed to have them in my life. Because I love my in-laws and we don't want them to spend a fortune, we are taking their cat, Charlie. To board him would cost $17.50 per day! This is a huge deal because I'm allergic to cats and it's no secret to those who know me that I'm not an animal person. Charlie will be in the basement with Shanna - she's looking forward to having another pet...me, I'm just praying that everyone remembers to keep the door shut so he doesn't come upstairs. I enjoy animals from afar, like to take pictures of them, but don't want to deal with the mess, smell, hair, poop, etc. that comes with owning an animal. (Please note that I'm not in any way slamming those of you who love pets). Yes, we have two bunnies and they are more than enough for me. Below is a picture of one of them - Dopey, who like his Disney namesake, is really sweet but not the brightest bulb. Dopey was a cooperative subject for one of my class photo assignments a couple of weeks ago...isn't he adorable!

 
My life group has taken a break for a few months, but we're getting together tonight for dinner and a walk...it'll be wonderful to catch up, laugh, talk and pray together. I'm looking forward to resuming our weekly get-togethers in the fall. Russell is going over to his parents house to wash their motor home in preparation for the big trip.

Life is about dealing with changes and challenges, and Shanna is really struggling to find her place and figure out what to do with her life. Some kids are really blessed to have a clear vision or goal of their future and seem to have their lives mapped out for them. Shanna isn't one of them (Russell and I weren't either). She has always been interested in law enforcement and is thinking seriously about enrolling in the Criminal Justice program at Mt Hood Community College. We applied for financial aid but didn't qualify for any grants, and she didn't apply for any scholarships. She struggles with academics and fears that she can't do it. She is job hunting, but jobs in Oregon are scarce (we have one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation) and she has no experience. Of course, like many kids her age, she wants the nice car, the apartment, good furniture, etc. What she hasn't yet learned, is that most of us started out with really crappy cars (my first one was an orange Vega) and we furnished our first apartment with garage sale and Goodwill finds. Like most kids her age, she's glued to her phone...this is one of the few photos I've gotten of her recently where she hasn't hidden her face.

Happy Wednesday!

Oregon Steamup

Russell, my brother Curtis and I spent Saturday at the Oregon Steam-up. This event is one that Russell and my brothers have attended for several years and I decided to tag along for the sole purpose of taking photos. I knew there would be a lot of “steam engines” but didn’t have any other expectations. Almost everything was outdoors and since the day started cool, I forego my Capri’s and sandals in favor of jeans and tennis shoes, andwas glad I did since it was very dusty. Judging by the smells and sounds, it felt a bit like we had been transported back to the turn of the 20th century…there was the smell of wood-burning furnaces, the sound of train whistles and steam tractors chugging down dirt and gravel roads, along with live big band music. The day started with the singing of the National Anthem (which always makes me teary-eyed) and how fitting that there were so many military vehicles (mostly vintage) with quite a few men in uniform in attendance.

The Great Oregon Steam-Up, organized by the Antique Powerland Museum, offers an impressive display including tractors, trains, automobiles, logging and military machinery — many dating back to the late 1800s and early 1900s. What I didn’t expect was a nostalgic trip back to my childhood. There was a fairly large “flea market section” where you could buy anything from tools, vintage tractors and wagons, glassware and dishes, old magazines, toys from my childhood and earlier. It was a history lesson of sorts. We bought three things: a small vase for $2; the October 10, 1953 issue of The Saturday Evening Post magazine, and much to my delight…a Montgomery Ward catalog from 1964 (I was five years old then). This “catalog” (we called it a wish book when I was a little girl) had some of the same furniture, wall hangings, kitchenware, and material that my Mom used to sew some of my dresses from. As a scrapbooker and someone who is the family historian, I was thrilled to find this piece of my childhood. 46 years later and it’s in impeccable shape.

I don’t get to spend as much time with my brothers as I’d like, so it was a treat to share the day with my little brother, Curtis. He co-owns a thermal heating and cooling company called The Heat Exchange and like many of us, is feeling the pinch of the economy. Curtis is a gentle giant and of my three brothers (our birthdays are four days apart), the one most like me…we share many of the same character traits and he’s as organized, methodical and efficient as I am. This photo is of Russell (on the left) and Curtis in front of an old wagon loaded with...well who knows! 

One of the best advances in electronics in my opinion is that of digital photography. Between us, Russell and I took over 500 photos. In the last few years, as Shanna has become less photogenic (I think it’s a teen thing!), I have turned my camera lens to other more cooperative subjects, such as flowers, landscapes and what I am now calling “details”. They are the things in our life, some ordinary and some not, that we often don’t pay any attention to. In order to share more of my photos, I have started a second blog: Life Through the Lens. Take a look if you have time. Happy Monday!

The Reality of Life

Life events can be totally crushing to the spirit. I have been unemployed for 10 months and for the last five months, have actively been job-hunting, which is a time-consuming process. Even with 30 years of work experience and good office/computer skills, I am having trouble landing a job.

 

Shanna graduated a couple of weeks ago (look at the joy on her face!) and applied for a job that would have been perfect for her and given her lots of opportunities for advancement. I think as a person ages, we expect or at least brace ourselves for the possibility that our dream or wish won’t come true. Shanna made it through the first several stages of the application process for this job and then took a test yesterday, which she failed. If there are job openings for this particular job in 6 months, she can try again…but for now, she’s absolutely crushed. She pinned all her hopes and plans on that one job and now feels like the bottom has dropped out. She mapped out all her hopes, dreams and plans on this one job. I tend to be a positive, optimistic person but am also realistic and know that finding a job in this market is tough, even for someone like me with good skills. I spend hours ever week looking through job descriptions, sending my resume and cover letter, keeping a log of all my applications.

 

It’s hard for me to remember being 18 and trying to find myself in the world. Like many others, I tried college right after high school and failed miserably. We had just moved from Loveland, Colorado, where I was born and raised, to Portland, Oregon and the culture shock was huge…from a small town to a big city. I wasn’t prepared to enter such a big world. It took me several years to settle down, work a couple of jobs, and then finally go back to school. For many of us, we don’t necessarily follow our dreams as much as fall into a job which becomes our life. While I’ve had some great jobs, they weren’t what I dreamed I would be doing. Sometimes, it’s who you know or being in the right place at the right time. Today’s high school graduates have some tough choices…Shanna isn’t ready for college yet and is looking for that “perfect job”…so am I but I’m realistic enough to know that perfect jobs are hard to find. Being an adult isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…it’s hard work and sometimes, settling for a steady job which pays the bill has to be enough, at least for now. How do I let her know not to give up on her dreams but also, that reality often wins over dreams?