Musings of an Unfinished Woman

Happy Thanksgiving

It’s been a long couple of weeks. A trip to the ER in the middle of the night with Shanna and then a morning in court to settle a traffic violation (a broken tail light)...all within 24 hours. A round of antibiotics, lots of sleep and she's feeling much better. Shanna is in her fourth week of work at UPS. She was sooooo thrilled with her first check. Oh the joy was absolutely priceless...this is her dancing with her check - isn't she cute with her plaid flannel and short haircut. Her second week, reality hit as they started taking out the union (Teamster) initiation dues and fees...and she discovered FICA. She comes running in wanting to know “Who’s FICA and why are they taking my money?” I laughed so hard, I was in tears...welcome to the real world little girl. She works the early shift so gets up at 4 am, but she’s still hasn’t figured out her sleeping schedule...she’s a night owl and usually ends up sleeping during the day and staying up all night.

Four nights later, Shanna ran screaming into our room that Grandma (Russell’s Mom) was trying to call us...my phone was on the charger and Russell’s phone was on silent for some reason. Thankfully, I have a teen whose phone is nearly always on. My father-in-law’s shop was on fire. He and my MIL opened Parkrose Shoe Hospital in 1974 and he’s been in that same location for 36 years. He’s 77 years old and we have wanted him to retire and close or sell the shop but after working 65 years (he quit school when he was 12 because his dad died and he had to help support his Mom and siblings), he doesn’t know how NOT to work. As is his usual custom, he often worked in the middle of the night (no customers or interruptions so he could get his work done). One of his machines sparked and started a fire. After trying to put it out himself, he called for help. Thank God for the Portland Fire and Rescue...they were there within minutes. Dad was not injured and while there was very little “fire damage”, there was considerable smoke damage and the foam they use to put out the fire made a huge mess. There have been so many blessings from this tragedy. The landlord is letting him out of his lease and is assisting us with getting anything out that’s salvageable. Ultimately it is the best thing to have happened...this has forced him to retire. I think the biggest challenge is that Mom and Dad will have to learn to live together, in the same place, 24 hours a day of togetherness should be interesting.

I am so thankful that my unemployment has been extended again. According to Forbes.com, Portland ranks #7 on “America’s Worst Cities for Finding a Job”. Having been unemployed for over 15 months, I can attest to the fact that I have applied for so many jobs that I am more than qualified for and rarely even get a phone interview. The right job will come along in the right time...in the meantime, I am getting some projects done and learning some new computer programs.

As nervous as I was, you would have thought that I had never cooked a dinner before. I'm so thankful for a VERY patient husband who helped me in the kitchen, despite the fact that I was a rather demanding, crabby kitchen companion (when I apologized later, he said after 28 years, he knows exactly what to expect and loves me anyway...definitely a keeper!!!). Everything turned out great and we had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My in-laws came and we were thrilled to welcome Shanna’s marine recruiter and his family to dinner. They brought a 24 pound turkey and her “casserole”, which was a rice and broccoli dish (none of us are broccoli fans), but it was really delicious. I discovered these fabulous 2.5 quart dual crock pots and I am in love with them...combined with Reynolds Crockpot Liners (these are right up there with post-it notes as being totally awesome). I cooked dressing, sweet potatoes, corn and gravy in the four crock pots. The ham cooked in the oven, along with the cornbread. The best thing about these crock pots are you can take them straight to the table and sit them on a potholder (no need to mess up serving bowls) and then when it’s cleanup time, you just take the crock pot liner and throw it away, wipe out the crock pot and TaDa...all done!

Russell is working today and since it’s a UPS holiday, he’s getting paid double time and a half...wow. That will help pay for Christmas. For the first time in years, I didn’t get up in the middle of the night and do the early morning shopping thing. I’m doing lots of research and reading about Fibromyalgia and one of the things I’m learning is that I have to listen to my body. These last few weeks have taken a toll and I knew that I didn’t have the physical strength, energy and sharp mind needed to navigate the insanity of Black Friday. Love that many stores are offering online shopping with the same deals and I don’t have to leave my house!

Fibromyalgia is a chronic disease dominated by three symptoms: pain, fatigue and brain fog (fibro-fog) and while it’s not life threatening, it is definitely “lifestyle threatening” (from the book FibroWHYalgia, by Susan Ingebretson). Lots of stress and physical activity causes “flare-ups” which are incredibly painful and while I may look “normal”, my joints and muscles hurt so much that any touch or movement can reduce me to a sobbing, out-of-control mess. Several weeks ago, I attended a Fibro and Chronic Pain Support Group. It was such a relief to talk to others who understand. One of the things that I have confirmed it’s critical to find out how to best recognize and manage my flare-ups. Target has fabulous “Microplush Blankets” and we bought two for the living room...they are big enough to cover me up from the tips of my toes to my nose...and they are sooooo soft. When I’m having a flare-up, the seams on my clothes can be nearly unbearable (I wear my socks and shirts inside out sometimes!), so these blankets are fabulous. The soft light of burning candles, with the delicious smell of apple cinnamon, along with small bouquets of flowers (only $8.99 a bunch at Costco) are both external things that bring me comfort. Soft instrumental music is also soothing (loving my Christmas music right now!). If you or someone you know has fibromyalgia, I would love to hear from you. What have you done to manage? How have you altered your lifestyle and what changes have been most helpful?

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving...enjoy this weekend.  

 

Giving thanks and keeping warm

Russell and I got married 28 years ago on November 20...we were 23 years old and both working at McDonalds (which is where we met). We chose that date because it would give us four days off of work. One of the decisions we made when we got married was to always celebrate our anniversary...more than just a card and dinner...but really celebrate us...our marriage and love.Our first anniversary, we sold Russell’s beat-up old Malibu (it was a blight on the neighborhood, painted 5 different colors and held together with duct tape and bailing wire). He got $100 for it at the junkyard...enough to pay for a nice dinner and a room at the Marriott. We’ve spent several of our anniversaries at Disneyland or World, a couple at the beach, Las Vegas and even a couple at home. Shanna has spent more Thanksgivings with relatives than with us. However, since Russell became a UPS driver four years ago, he no longer gets the week of Thanksgiving off so we’ve had to adjust. We took our anniversary trip to Disney World in October but will still go out to dinner on Saturday our wedding day. What a difference 28 years make...we look somewhat the same, but aged (not necessarily like fine wine). We have an exceptional marriage, something neither of us ever takes for granted...there’s no doubt that we are still crazy in love with each other and still would rather spend time with each other than anyone else.My heart still leaps when he calls me, and when he looks at me with that special look, my insides melt. We often say the same thing at the same time, manage to dress in the same colors without planning it, understand each others strong points and weaknesses and have worked hard to compensate for each other. We laugh together at the silliest things, hold hands and cuddle together and make time for dates.  

 

Anyway, this year we will be home for Thanksgiving and for the first time in many years, we are hosting Thanksgiving dinner. Russell’s Mom and Dad will be joining us and we are thrilled to welcome a Marine family that we have gotten to know. One of the recruiting Staff Sergeants’, his wife and three beautiful daughters (who absolutely adore Shanna) will be joining us. They are originally from Texas so she will be bringing a few “southern dishes” that seem to be a tradition for black families in the south. Each of our brothers are spending Thanksgiving with their own extended family and friends and while I mourn the loss of traditions that extend back several generations, I recognize that family isn’t just about blood and marriage ties, but also about the people that we share our hearts and our time with. So this year, we will be joined by a military family who is far from their own families...we’ll eat together, laugh, share stories, watch movies, play games and create precious memories that will hopefully be remembered fondly in years to come.

 I like to entertain...have people over for dinner. Perhaps it’s because I’m good at the logistics of organizing and planning, getting everything ready and creating a welcoming atmosphere. I learned that gift from my Mom who often invited friends to join us for a meal. I tend to plan my entertaining in advance and am not as spontaneous as my Mom, but I realize how much I enjoy gathering friends and family together...to eat, catch up on life, to laugh and just let go of the outside world for an hour or two. We don’t have a fancy home...our kitchen is the original from 1974 as is the bathroom...our carpet needs to be replaced, but somehow we’ve created a warm, welcoming haven so I’m excited to welcome new friends and family for this holiday where we give thanks for our blessings.

We’re not really turkey people and I will admit it here...I’ve never cooked a turkey (is that un-American?!). We will be serving ham, potatoes, corn, pies, yams, etc. and our guests have offered to bring the turkey along with a few of their favorite holiday dishes.

This weekend we are “weatherizing” our home. Our garage door was hit from the inside (yes, it was me and was the ONLY time I haven’t opened the garage door before getting in the car). As a result of that little accident, the garage door is warped and let’s in too much air, dirt, and warm or cold weather depending on the season. We have aluminum windows, so we will be covering them to protect us from the frigid east gorge wind. We’ll be cleaning out the flowerbeds, bringing the deck furniture in for the winter. We’ve already got a forecast for snow, so I’m thinking it could be a long cold winter, so I want to make sure our home is ready for inclement weather. So wherever you are...stay warm and dry. Happy Friday.

Trying to keep up

Life seems to be zooming faster than I can keep up. Can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I posted. In that time, my Mother-in-Law had vascular surgery and was in the hospital for three nights. Between Russell, Shanna and I, we have had 17 doctor appointments and one trip to the ER. Shanna has had some health issues as have I. In order to reach a diagnosis, I’ve had a total of 29 vials of blood in four separate lab appointments. We’ve cleaned out my in-laws basement and hauled three loads of stuff to the dump and another three loads to Goodwill. I have sorted through 20 years of my in-laws papers and photos, which took up 22 boxes in our basement. I have applied for 36 jobs and since my last post, Russell and I have taken more than 5,000 photos (once again, thankful for digital!), most of them taken while on vacation at Disney World. It’s been two months of highs and lows.

Some of the Highlights:

• Ten days away with my sweetheart in Orlando, staying at our Disney Vacation Club resort. This vacation was a blessing in that the condo was free (we are DVC members), we had free airline tickets so the cost was fairly minimal. Russell and I had a great time taking photos, eating good food, sleeping in.
• New medications for me that help with pain management.
• Shanna got a job at UPS. She’s working the sunrise shift at the airport and while it’s not a lot of hours, it’s a job!!! Yahoo! (See photo below...Shanna with her first paycheck).
• Russell’s back is healed. Thank you Lord for that.
• My unemployment was renewed for another six weeks.
• Shanna's new ultra-short, very cute, easy to care for haircut.
• So thankful for fabulous healthcare. I can’t say enough good things about my doctor and Kaiser.
• Have compiled all the info for 2010 taxes and am ready to plug in the numbers after the first of the year.
• Supportive friends and family to help Shanna with some health issues while Russell and I were gone.
• Helping my mother-in-law “unclutter” and get rid of so much stuff.
• Attending the Trailblazers “Fan Fest”, a fun night of seeing our team practice, listening to interviews, etc.

 
 

Some of the lows:

• A diagnosis of fibromyalgia. While I’m thankful to have a diagnosis, it’s a chronic disease that really has no cure, so I have to find a way to deal with it and still maintain.
• Too many sleepless nights while I learn how to manage my medication and learn to listen to my body and take it before I am almost insane with pain. Learning what my body is physically capable of doing without pushing myself too far.
• Nine unseasonably hot days at Disney World (90’s with unusually high humidity). I don’t do well in hot weather and after 2 days of the heat and walking for what seemed like miles, we were both hurting so bad we went to Plan B...which for me is just letting go and not having any expectations (hard to do for a Type A personality!). Thank God for Vicodan and a whirlpool tub in our room.
• It's been three years since we've gone to a popular vacation spot and we were so shocked at how many rude, screaming, out-of-control children there were and how many people were constantly on their phones...texting, twittering, talking, etc. We didn't carry our phones with us most of the time...we wanted to get away and knew that Shanna had a good support system here if anything happened. While we were there, Epcot was hosting the Wine and Food Festival (which means there were a lot of people drinking and combine that with the heat and you have loud, rude people!). The parks were crowded and everything seemed to be louder....loud people, loud music, and screaming children. 

 
Russell and I went on a photo date last Saturday and took some great photos of the fall landscapes. It's so windy here today that nearly all the leaves are stripped off the trees. Now that daylight savings time is gone, the days seem dark and gloomy. I've discovered how much I love the scent of apple cinnamon candles along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Costco (a wonderful, inexpensive treat for only $8.99!) to grace my table and mantle. We love the Christmas season and Shanna wants the Christmas stuff up NOW...so I think we'll get it up this weekend...we're already listening to Christmas music.

Happy Wednesday!

Catching Up

Can’t believe how fast the last three weeks have gone…lots of life stuff going on. Russell has wanted a pickup truck for as long as I can remember, and now, he has one. You know those used car guys that tell you they have a car that was owned by one little old lady who drove it to the grocery store and church…well that’s my Dad. He bought his truck, a Dodge Dakota, in 1997 and it has just a little over 50,000 miles on it. We needed a third vehicle and my Dad wasn’t driving his truck anymore…it needed new tires and some work done, but we ended up with a really good deal and a reliable truck to get Russell to and from work. (If you’re in the Portland/Gresham area and need a good mechanic, we highly recommend USA Auto Performance – they are awesome and totally honest).

Speaking of Russell and work, he injured his lower back last Tuesday and is now on what UPS calls “TOW” (time off work), but it really isn’t. He has been going in every day to the chiropractor for treatments and then he goes to UPS and helps out in the office answering phones, doing computer work, etc. He’s in quite a bit of pain but my sweetie isn’t a complainer. You know when someone is really hurt when they are willing to ice their back every hour!

It seems as if the hot days of summer are over. Russell and I were spontaneous and went to the State Fair two weekends ago. We packed a picnic supper and headed down mid-afternoon with the intention of working on our photography skills, especially night-time lighting. We had a lovely day together, took a ton of pictures and walked our legs off. At the last minute I decided to throw in our coats and a turtleneck for me (since I get cold so easily). We were so glad to have the extra layers as it got really chilly after the sun went down. I’m always amazed at how much money people spend on stupid (in my opinion) stuff. The world’s largest pig and the biggest alligator both had lines of people willing to plunk down $1.50 per person for 30 seconds. We lost count of the number of mostly young couples who were walking around with 5 foot stuffed animals which I imagine cost way more than they were worth. We learned our lesson last year after spending a small fortune on hamburgers, fries and drinks for five of us for what was at best mediocre food…thus the picnic supper.

We've been praying for awhile that God would point Shanna in the right direction. She's been "directionless" for awhile...undecided about what to do for her future. She wants to be in law enforcement but has to take some college courses to begin and she is too late to get into the program at MHCC. Shanna asked me a couple weeks ago to go with her to talk with military recruiters. After lots of conversations, research and prayer, she has decided to pursue a career in the Marines.

We are very supportive of this decision and believe the Marines will give her direction, grow her up and provide the foundation for a solid future. No, the military is not for everyone and we realize not everyone will be supportive of her choice, but Shanna is very excited and determined to do this. She understands that boot camp is 13 weeks of hell but will also prepare her for a permanent job, which in this economy isn't easy. Women in the Marines aren't on the front line of battle, although because of 6 years of training from my brothers, she already is a great "rifleman" and was invited last year to be on the Junior Rifle Team for the US. She will be an even better “riflewoman” after 13 weeks at boot camp on Parris Island, South Carolina.

The original plan was for her to take the necessary tests and ship out in November for boot camp. However, there’s been a hitch in the plan. Shanna has a small tattoo on her inside right wrist...it's the Chinese symbol for blessed. The Marines won't allow her to keep it and it has to be removed before she can move forward in the process. Shanna and her Grandma (Russell's mom) both got small tattoos done on their inside right wrists last year. They both wanted tattoos and although we were against it, they went together and Grandma treated Shanna to a tattoo. Much like the dog she bought for Shanna which is now one of her pets, it wasn't a well-thought out decision. Now, Shanna is paying for that decision...because it is her saluting hand (right wrist facing outward), she has to have the tattoo removed. It will take five to eight laser treatments, four weeks apart at $200 per treatment to have it removed so that has moved her previous ship out date into 2011. She’ll have to get a job to pay for her gas and incidentals because we can’t afford it.

The only upside to the delay is that she has more time to study for the ASVAB test, which is used by all branches of the military. It's a 2.5 hour test that covers 9 different subjects including General Science, Arithmetic Reasoning, Word Knowledge, Paragraph Comprehension, Mathematics Knowledge, Electronics Information, Auto Information, Shop Information, Mechanical Comprehension and Assembling Objects. It's a hard test to pass and her score will determine what her starting pay would be and what jobs in the military she would be eligible for. We bought a study guide and flash cards for her to use and if she scores high enough, she will be able to audition for the Marine Band.

After our first meeting with the recruiter, they had her do a practice test just to see where she was at and she scored 23. She has to score 31 or higher on the real test in order to move forward in the process. If she fails the test (gets less than 31) or takes it and doesn't get as high of a score as she and her recruiter would like, she can take it again in 30 days. Last week her recruiter, Sergeant Marsh had her re-take the test and she had raised her score to 36, so she’s improving! One of her friend’s boyfriends is taking college trigonometry and has been helping her study math (we’re not blessed with math genes in our family!). Please pray for her as she studies and prepares her mind and body for what's ahead. She is working out at 24-hour Fitness and has is also working out in the mornings (playing basketball and running) with the other marine recruits (so far, she’s the only female, but she seems to be doing okay).

Russell and I are very proud that she would choose to do this and while the Mother in me cries that she will be far away and we would likely not see a lot of her for several years, we also know that God is in control of her life and that this could very possibly be the best choice that she has ever made.

Happy Friday! Russell took the photo below at the State Fair.

Oregon Steamup

Russell, my brother Curtis and I spent Saturday at the Oregon Steam-up. This event is one that Russell and my brothers have attended for several years and I decided to tag along for the sole purpose of taking photos. I knew there would be a lot of “steam engines” but didn’t have any other expectations. Almost everything was outdoors and since the day started cool, I forego my Capri’s and sandals in favor of jeans and tennis shoes, andwas glad I did since it was very dusty. Judging by the smells and sounds, it felt a bit like we had been transported back to the turn of the 20th century…there was the smell of wood-burning furnaces, the sound of train whistles and steam tractors chugging down dirt and gravel roads, along with live big band music. The day started with the singing of the National Anthem (which always makes me teary-eyed) and how fitting that there were so many military vehicles (mostly vintage) with quite a few men in uniform in attendance.

The Great Oregon Steam-Up, organized by the Antique Powerland Museum, offers an impressive display including tractors, trains, automobiles, logging and military machinery — many dating back to the late 1800s and early 1900s. What I didn’t expect was a nostalgic trip back to my childhood. There was a fairly large “flea market section” where you could buy anything from tools, vintage tractors and wagons, glassware and dishes, old magazines, toys from my childhood and earlier. It was a history lesson of sorts. We bought three things: a small vase for $2; the October 10, 1953 issue of The Saturday Evening Post magazine, and much to my delight…a Montgomery Ward catalog from 1964 (I was five years old then). This “catalog” (we called it a wish book when I was a little girl) had some of the same furniture, wall hangings, kitchenware, and material that my Mom used to sew some of my dresses from. As a scrapbooker and someone who is the family historian, I was thrilled to find this piece of my childhood. 46 years later and it’s in impeccable shape.

I don’t get to spend as much time with my brothers as I’d like, so it was a treat to share the day with my little brother, Curtis. He co-owns a thermal heating and cooling company called The Heat Exchange and like many of us, is feeling the pinch of the economy. Curtis is a gentle giant and of my three brothers (our birthdays are four days apart), the one most like me…we share many of the same character traits and he’s as organized, methodical and efficient as I am. This photo is of Russell (on the left) and Curtis in front of an old wagon loaded with...well who knows! 

One of the best advances in electronics in my opinion is that of digital photography. Between us, Russell and I took over 500 photos. In the last few years, as Shanna has become less photogenic (I think it’s a teen thing!), I have turned my camera lens to other more cooperative subjects, such as flowers, landscapes and what I am now calling “details”. They are the things in our life, some ordinary and some not, that we often don’t pay any attention to. In order to share more of my photos, I have started a second blog: Life Through the Lens. Take a look if you have time. Happy Monday!

Photography and Midnight Musings

Shanna and her road trip friends made it from Portland, Oregon to Florence, California (a distance of 985 miles) in a record-breaking 12 hours. They left here on Tuesday night at 11:40, had dinner in Hollywood on Wednesday night, spent Thursday at Disneyland, part of Friday at the coast and got home about 1:00 pm on Saturday afternoon. A trip to California and back in 85 hours…holy smokes. Now that’s a road trip!

It’s no secret that I love photography. We have a Canon “point and shoot” and my Canon Xsi that I got when I enrolled in the Integrated Media program last fall at the community college. I have to admit that Russell was a fan of SLR cameras long before I was…when we first got married, he owned a Minolta SLR (those were the days of film). I was never interested in learning how to use it and was quite happy with an “automatic camera” but now that I know the capabilities of an SRL, I can’t bring myself to use the point and shoot anymore. I’m in week four of Karen Russell’s photography course and Russell has gone with me on all my assignment photo shoots…and we’ve taken turns using the DSLR camera. Russell and I have always enjoyed being together and spend a lot of time in our craft room (he model railroads and I scrapbook).

 

Photography is the one hobby (other than Disney) that we both love. I’ve been selling stuff on Craigslist and we decided to use that money and Russell’s birthday money to invest in another camera so we could both learn and have fun together. I’ve been watching Craigslist and Ebay for a good bargain on a camera. We wanted to buy from a proven seller and didn’t want to pay full-price. After a couple weeks of research and several tries, I finally had the winning bid on an Ebay auction and we are now the proud owners of a Canon T1i at about half the regular price! Our assignment that we turned in yesterday was about depth of field and creative apertures, something I’ve never really experimented with. I spent several hours on Friday trying different things on my camera…all I can say is “thank God for digital”! Since our daughter is all grown up and not that camera-friendly anymore; we don’t have willing or available subjects to photograph so we have to get creative. We’re making a list of photography dates for the next several weeks, and the best part…other than developing (and I only print a fraction of the photos I take), is that there’s no “additional” cost for this hobby of ours.  

 

My brother, Curtis and his wife Jennifer hosted a family barbecue at their house. I’m not sure why we don’t get together more often but we had a good time. I consider Curtis and Jennifer to be “master gardeners” (the flower arrangement is all from their garden!). They have an incredibly beautiful yard and waterfall/pond. Shanna brought her friend Jason over and he was treated to the full force of our little family. We are a loud, everyone talk at once kind of family…lots of jokes, movie lines and remember when stories.

 

Traditionally, Sunday is my worst sleeping night, and last night was no exception. Went to bed at 10 pm, felt really tired…dozed, tossed and turned until I finally gave up. I was up until about 3:30 am. I’ve learned there’s no use lying in bed trying to fall asleep…it doesn’t work and I don’t want to be the cause of Russell not sleeping. There’s something about being up in the middle of the night like that. I would have sat on our deck but the mosquitoes are really bad this year – very unusual for Oregon. So I settled for opening the sliding door and listened to the night sounds. We live in a quiet neighborhood and with a wooded section behind us, are blessed to have the sounds of nature right outside our deck door…an owl, the occasional howl or bark of coyotes, frogs and in the distance, trains and planes.

 

As I sat in our living room listening to the night noises, I was so thankful to be living my life and am really trying to focus on the positive…to be thankful for who I am and what I have in my life…to live more in the moment. I’m thankful my daughter is home safe from her road trip. I’m thankful that I have a husband who wants to spend time with me and that we share such a wonderful life together. I’m thankful for family, and who loves me for who I am. One of my dear friends is going in for a biopsy tomorrow and I’m reminded once again of how precious life is and how much we take for granted. You’re in my thoughts and prayers Sue.

 

The fabulous view from our deck...

Memories of Mom

Memories of Mom...I thought about my Mom more than usual last week...remembering, wishing, missing and thankful. She would have been 69 on May 4, and then within the same week, is Mother's Day. This was one of the few years when I did really well heading off the grief. If you're a motherless daughter, then you know what I'm talking about. My Mom died 16 years ago very unexpectedly at the age of 52, after a hysterectomy...one that I had encouraged her to have because my own hysterectomy was such a life changing health event for me (I had female problems from the age of 11 until my hysterectomy at age 31).

We had just adopted Shanna and had celebrated the adoption being final the Sunday before, so the last photos I have of my Mom are of her and my Dad with the three grand kids. I'm thankful that my Mom died in such a quick and painless way...several of my friend's parents have died long, agonizing deaths and while I envy them the opportunity to say goodbye, I have no regrets in my relationship with my Mom...except for a few of my teenage years, she and I had an awesome relationship and were best friends.

The older I get, the more like my Mom I am...I used to hate it when someone would compare us...now I pray that I have some of my Mom's character traits and talents. More than anything, my heart hurts that Shanna didn't get to know her Grandma Florine. My Mom would have loved Shanna's uniqueness, her sense of style and humor, her absolute belief in right and wrong, her innate kindness and most of all, the way that she loves and serves the Lord. I miss my Mom's hearty (loud) laugh that came from her soul (Shanna tells me I laugh too loud...something I used to tell my Mom when I was a teen...someday, hopefully she'll appreciate my laugh). My Mom struggled with her weight nearly her entire adult life, as do I. My Mom loved the Lord so much and was such a creative, giving, loving person...that's one of the best things about being a Christian is knowing that I'll see her again someday...I imagine her in a beautiful heavenly garden and I'm thankful to have my very own "gardening" guardian angel. I love you and miss you Mom.

I think there are women who are born to be Mom's...they have that something extra and just seem to revel in all that motherhood entails. I'm not one of them...I love my girl with all my heart and soul but being a parent is hard work. I love this photo of my Mom and I...

My friend Amy (she and I have shared the journey of having Hep C and going through the year of treatment) is getting ready to have her first baby in just a few weeks. Amy, you're in my prayers and I can't wait to share this new journey with you! Amy and I met in Stacy Julian's Library of Memories class. While I was browsing online at the posted pages, I noticed a page about Hep C and I contacted her...we've been online friends for over two years...isn't the internet wonderful!