Musings of an Unfinished Woman

Friendship

Life has a way of beating you down and this hasn’t been my best week. I had an interview on Monday for a job I would love to have. It was a panel interview and it wasn’t my best interview. I’ve applied for 32 jobs in the last 25 days. Our freezer was left open and we lost everything in it. Our condo is being re-roofed, which is a good thing, but the noise level is insane and we’re on day four. I have had more than normal problems with insomnia this week. Somehow I’ve misplaced my cell phone and am using an old clunky phone which I hate. My Uncle Jay died on Tuesday. Money is really tight and all of this has been enough to make me weepy and depressed, short-tempered and wanting to run away (but running away costs money!). But this morning, I’m feeling better thanks to the gift of friendship.

 

Almost two years ago, I made the decision to lead a women’s life group through our church and it’s been such a gift. In addition to being spiritually fed, which is one of the goals of a life group, has been the blessing of getting to know a wonderful group of ladies. Our little life group has shared so much – death of loved ones, marital problems, parenting challenges, health issues. We haven’t met for a couple of months due to schedules and life stuff. One of the things of primary importance to me as a life group leader was to create an atmosphere of trust and acceptance. A place where we can be ourselves, and where we can each share the reality of our lives…the good and bad, the ugly and hurtful things, as well as the happy, wonderful blessings. It’s important that we maintain confidentiality – what is shared in life group stays in life group. We’ve come a long way in our group and I’m looking forward to resuming our get togethers.

 

One of the unexpected blessings of the life group has been the friendship and caring that I’ve received from my ladies. It’s a wonderful thing when you can lower your guard and let someone in. As in any relationship, friendship is dependent on honesty, integrity and acceptance. There’s a beauty in knowing that a real friend loves you regardless of your flaws and imperfections, and who knows when you need an escape. I’ve known Cindy for quite awhile through mutual friends and our shared passion for scrapbooking. But when she joined my life group, we connected on a deeper, more spiritual level, and have become friends. She invited me to dinner last night and we spent a couple of hours eating, chatting and laughing. It was just what I needed…thank you Cindy for knowing I needed a friend and taking the time to treat me to dinner.

 

Real friendship takes time and commitment…it’s taking time even when you don’t want to, it’s listening and being there. I want to be that kind of friend and am so thankful for the wonderful women in my life who love and accept me in spite of my imperfections. Thank you ladies for your friendship…I am blessed.

 

Our zinnias are finally blooming...they're not quite this gorgeous though. I love flower gardens don't you?

 

Texting, Kindred Spirits and Spring Break!!

This post is in praise of texting, kindred spirits and spring break!

My second term of school ended yesterday…what a long three months this has been. Still waiting for two of my grades to be posted, but so far I have 5 A’s…which makes me happy! Going back to school has offered me the opportunity to meet new people, although the vast majority of students are younger than me, I’ve enjoyed getting to know so many different people. In my Digital Acquisition Class, we were put into groups. As a team, we had to create an advertising pitch for a specific product. The idea was that there would be one student from each of the four programs (digital photography, graphic design, video production and radio broadcasting). Our final presentation, where we “pitched” our product to the instructors and all the other students was yesterday. Oh my goodness…I was so thrilled to be finished with that project.

 

I can’t imagine working in a group setting like we did, trying to coordinate the schedules of four busy people, without texting. I clearly recall a conversation I had in 2007 with a group of friends who all had teenage girls. At the time, we didn’t have texting as part of our cell phone service. All four of my friends assured me that I would need to get on board the texting thing, but I wasn’t convinced, until we received a huge phone bill resulting from Shanna’s discovery of texting. Needless to say, we subscribed to unlimited texting for her and then for Russell and I. It truly is the way that teens communicate. I wasn’t big on texting until I got my new phone, the LGnv3 with its wonderful little keyboard. So, back to the school project…we discovered quickly that our best communication method was texting followed up by longer emails.

 

The whole group process gave me a new appreciation for people who step forward and go the extra distance. We started out with two guys (one in video and one in radio) and three women (two in graphic design and myself). Our video guy dropped out mid-term and the radio guy, well, let’s just say he’s a nice guy, very young and more committed to other aspects of his education than this class. Being the team leader meant that I spent a lot of time coordinating, communicating, pushing and nagging. However, the bright side of the story was how much I enjoyed working with Serina and Hunter. Serina is 24 and has rheumatoid arthritis but despite her disability, she’s an amazing graphic artist. For her age, she’s very “together” and was wonderful to work with. Then there was Hunter. I met her in my first term at MHCC. Sometimes, you meet someone and are instantly “drawn” to them…it's that feeling of being “kindred spirits” (from one of my favorite movie series, “Anne of Green Gables”). She’s an amazing musician, has a great sense of humor (an essential in life) and was so fabulous in getting this project done. She’s one of those people that I hope I have as a friend for a long time. While we have very different lifestyles, there’s that connection. Finding good friends, who accept you as you are, is such a gift.

 

It’s a beautiful sunny day and I have 10 days off…looking forward to sleeping in, getting creative in my scrap room, taking lots of photos, maybe even spending time with my girl…if she has time in her busy spring schedule for her Mom. Happy Friday!!

 

Friendship

Happy Friday!

 

Having a day off…no school, no obligations, is rare and really wonderful. One of the things that seem to suffer with insanely busy schedules are our friendships. I have spent some time thinking about friends and how precious they are. So why is it that we (women) take so little time for ourselves, for nurturing ourselves and our relationships (not just friends but marriages too)? For so many years, I spent so much time working and didn’t make time for friends. It’s hard to get through life if you don’t have friends who love you, who will stand beside you in good times and bad. While I’m not one of those people with a ton of friends (my daughter has 447 contacts in her phone…how could she possibly know that many people??), but the friends I do have are there for me, and I for them. I’ve learned that friendship isn’t necessarily convenient, but it’s about being there, being willing to go out of your way for a friend.

 

My friend Sue came over today to scrapbook. It’s been awhile, since my 50^th birthday party last September since we’ve spent time together, but we’ve been in touch by email. We spent the first two hours just talking…catching up, laughing, sharing health and life issues (spouse and children)…you know! It was wonderful. Being with a good friend is so therapeutic. When I opened the door, I told her how cute she looked. She was wearing a comfy outfit with slippers and she made the comment that she could come over and be herself with me. Isn’t that how friendship should be? Isn’t it wonderful to have a few close friends in your life that you can be you…all the wrinkles, personality flaws, less than perfect parenting moments…and they will give you a hug and share their own stories, commiserate and offer advice and sympathy. I love that. I didn’t get much scrapping done…made 8 cards but more, I was able to be me and talk about stuff going on in my life with someone who would be honest with me. There’s nothing like some good girl time to heal the soul and regain some perspective on life. Thanks Sue!!

 

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend!!

Praises and Prayers

I have many praises and one really big prayer today...

 

It's the Monday after a busy weekend...I'm not normally a "down-on-Mondays" kind of a person...but right now, my heart is heavy...the daughter of one of my co-workers was just diagnosed with Stage 2 cancer. I can't divulge her identity, but she's in her mid-20's and had surgery on Friday. Please pray for this young woman. I don't have any details on her treatment or prognosis but ask that you keep her in your prayers. This is reminder to me that life is so very precious and we shouldn't take anything for granted.

I just finished up my first "term" as a life group leader for our church. Back in the late summer when they announced that they were looking for new life group leaders, I told Russell I wanted to be part of a women's life group but DID NOT want to lead one. I have been praying for more than a year for a few women friends who would become "friends of the heart" and be more than just acquaintances. I didn't want to lead a life group but felt God wanted me to so I signed up and left it up to the Lord...if He wanted it to happen, He would bring just the right women to me...I believe that prayer was answered. I've had five women who have been faithfully coming to my home every week. I'm so thankful for these five women...that they let me be a part of their life, that we were able to share our praises and prayers....I'm thankful that we've been able to share from the heart...to go beyond the surface stuff and allow each other to see inside our insecurities, hurts, hopes and wishes.

Part of the life group commitment was having fun together and serving together, so last Thursday, the six of us went to dinner at Applebees and then onto the Singing Christmas Tree...a fabulous tradition for over 40 years here in Portland. We had such a fun evening together and then on Saturday (at 7:30 am) we met at the church and volunteered at the Coat and Toy Drive sponsored by ALC. It was a blessing to serve those in our church and community who are struggling to afford life, let alone Christmas. I have committed to continuing our life group after the first of the year. If you're not involved in a church...look for one that encourages small groups...what a wonderful way to be a part of another's life...to share, support, praise and pray for each other.

 

Shanna has been taking private saxophone lessons for the last 12 weeks...my only regret is not starting them sooner. Mr. Bondy is absolutely fabulous as an instructor and mentor and she's learned so much from him. Yesterday was the winter recital and it was a movie theme. I'm in awe of anyone who can take an instrument and make beautiful music. She did an awesome job with "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", from her favorite movie, Wizard of Oz.

 

I'm also thankful that after ten weeks of getting up early every Saturday, Shanna is finished with Drivers Ed...