Musings of an Unfinished Woman

Comfort and Self-Acceptance

It is a gorgeous sunny day here in my corner of the world (which means it’s windy and cold). I’m snuggled up in my craft room ready to dive into some of my homework for “Yesterday and Today” class, plus some prep work for my life group which officially starts tomorrow night. We’re studying “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl” by Lysa Terkeurst. The first chapter is about trying to be good enough and learning to accept ourselves just as we are, just as God created us. I think this is particularly difficult for women. We seem to have this compulsive need to compare ourselves to others. Why is that? Self-acceptance and love is absolutely critical in being content and happy in our lives...why is it that we can love and accept others for who they are...love their imperfect lives and bodies but can’t give ourselves the same gift of love and grace? Something to ponder. Isn't my Shanna girl cute with her pointy little hair-do and plaid shirt? I love how comfortable she is in her own skin...she embodies the confidence I want to have.

A few of my favorite things...on days like today when I’m cold and achy, I am comforted and warmed by certain things. There’s nothing like home-made Mac and cheese, or a scented candle. I am loving these Candle Warmers which look like a little lamp but actually melt the candle and release the scent without the smoke. My favorite candle scent is Cinnamon or Apple Spice.

When I took my walk yesterday, I took my camera and got a couple photos...one a sign of spring (see below) and another I’m calling the Mystery of the Mitten...some Mom somewhere is wondering where the heck the other mitten is!

 
I interviewed for a job recently and the interview took place at a restaurant. Not sure if I got the job but one thing really bothered me. The person interviewing me ordered a beverage but didn’t offer me anything...rude much?

Happy Tuesday.

 

Trying to keep up

Life seems to be zooming faster than I can keep up. Can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I posted. In that time, my Mother-in-Law had vascular surgery and was in the hospital for three nights. Between Russell, Shanna and I, we have had 17 doctor appointments and one trip to the ER. Shanna has had some health issues as have I. In order to reach a diagnosis, I’ve had a total of 29 vials of blood in four separate lab appointments. We’ve cleaned out my in-laws basement and hauled three loads of stuff to the dump and another three loads to Goodwill. I have sorted through 20 years of my in-laws papers and photos, which took up 22 boxes in our basement. I have applied for 36 jobs and since my last post, Russell and I have taken more than 5,000 photos (once again, thankful for digital!), most of them taken while on vacation at Disney World. It’s been two months of highs and lows.

Some of the Highlights:

• Ten days away with my sweetheart in Orlando, staying at our Disney Vacation Club resort. This vacation was a blessing in that the condo was free (we are DVC members), we had free airline tickets so the cost was fairly minimal. Russell and I had a great time taking photos, eating good food, sleeping in.
• New medications for me that help with pain management.
• Shanna got a job at UPS. She’s working the sunrise shift at the airport and while it’s not a lot of hours, it’s a job!!! Yahoo! (See photo below...Shanna with her first paycheck).
• Russell’s back is healed. Thank you Lord for that.
• My unemployment was renewed for another six weeks.
• Shanna's new ultra-short, very cute, easy to care for haircut.
• So thankful for fabulous healthcare. I can’t say enough good things about my doctor and Kaiser.
• Have compiled all the info for 2010 taxes and am ready to plug in the numbers after the first of the year.
• Supportive friends and family to help Shanna with some health issues while Russell and I were gone.
• Helping my mother-in-law “unclutter” and get rid of so much stuff.
• Attending the Trailblazers “Fan Fest”, a fun night of seeing our team practice, listening to interviews, etc.

 
 

Some of the lows:

• A diagnosis of fibromyalgia. While I’m thankful to have a diagnosis, it’s a chronic disease that really has no cure, so I have to find a way to deal with it and still maintain.
• Too many sleepless nights while I learn how to manage my medication and learn to listen to my body and take it before I am almost insane with pain. Learning what my body is physically capable of doing without pushing myself too far.
• Nine unseasonably hot days at Disney World (90’s with unusually high humidity). I don’t do well in hot weather and after 2 days of the heat and walking for what seemed like miles, we were both hurting so bad we went to Plan B...which for me is just letting go and not having any expectations (hard to do for a Type A personality!). Thank God for Vicodan and a whirlpool tub in our room.
• It's been three years since we've gone to a popular vacation spot and we were so shocked at how many rude, screaming, out-of-control children there were and how many people were constantly on their phones...texting, twittering, talking, etc. We didn't carry our phones with us most of the time...we wanted to get away and knew that Shanna had a good support system here if anything happened. While we were there, Epcot was hosting the Wine and Food Festival (which means there were a lot of people drinking and combine that with the heat and you have loud, rude people!). The parks were crowded and everything seemed to be louder....loud people, loud music, and screaming children. 

 
Russell and I went on a photo date last Saturday and took some great photos of the fall landscapes. It's so windy here today that nearly all the leaves are stripped off the trees. Now that daylight savings time is gone, the days seem dark and gloomy. I've discovered how much I love the scent of apple cinnamon candles along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Costco (a wonderful, inexpensive treat for only $8.99!) to grace my table and mantle. We love the Christmas season and Shanna wants the Christmas stuff up NOW...so I think we'll get it up this weekend...we're already listening to Christmas music.

Happy Wednesday!

Broadening our horizons

Russell and I are trying to broaden our horizons and get out of our rut. While we always love spending time together, we can be somewhat predictable when we have the occasion to go out on a date. With the rainy weather on its way, we’re looking from some great (inexpensive places to go). We’ve been going to Esther Short Park in downtown Vancouver (near the interstate bridge). It's a really pretty park with a nice farmers market and no one seems to mind if we photograph the fruits and vegetables.

Last weekend wasn’t really great weather so we headed to the Sellwood area of town...it’s a very charming neighborhood with lots of cute shops, little gardens and tiny restaurants. With no particular destination in mind, we wandered, took photos of flowers until we stumbled into STARS, an Antique Mall. We spent a couple of hours wandering through. We asked the owners if we could take photos and their only request is that we not rearrange the displays or get in the way of other shoppers.

 
    

My idea of antiques are really old, ornate uncomfortable furniture or elaborate chandeliers, etc. And yes, there was some of that, but a lot of what we saw on display were items that took us back to our childhoods. My theory is that if the item is as old as you are, then it's not an antique! We bought a black rotary dial phone and I swear that it must weigh about 15 pounds...a relic from our childhood years. We saw kitchen canisters in the 50’s style of pink and turquoise, a train pull-toy that my brothers and I all grew up with and a pair of roller skates that strapped onto your shoes. We saw beautiful quilts, kitchen gadgets that I wouldn’t know how to work and hankies (remember those...my grandma always had at least two fresh hankies plus a roll of Mint Lifesavers in her purse). There were old cameras and a couple of radios with beautifully styled knobs and lettering.

 
I got online this week and did some research on upcoming events that we might like to go to, such as the Largest Antique Show (how do they know it’s the largest?), several holiday bazaars and festivals, along with a ton of great antique shops. We are both almost nutty about photographing flowers and landscapes, as well as what we call “details”. We’re a cheap date and have been taking picnic lunches to save money. Stay tuned for more photos from our Weekend Wanderings.

I met Sue and Cindy, two of my life group gals tonight for a girl’s night out. It’s wonderful to catch up, to share the good things and the challenges in each other’s lives, to be real and honest with each other. It’s been two years since I started my life group. My goal at the time was to develop some close relationships with women as we shared our lives and spent some time in prayer and study...a goal that has exceeded my expectations. I’m so thankful for the ladies in my group and for the support and love they extend to me and to each other. Life group fall season will kick off again in the next few weeks and I’m looking forward to our weekly meetings. There have been many weeks when I didn’t want to have anyone over, when I was tired or just didn’t feel like entertaining and leading...but without fail, those were the nights that I was blessed the most. I would love to have a couple more ladies join our group and leaving that in God’s hands.

 

Happy Friday!

 

The reality of life

 
Happy first day of Fall!

Does anyone really know, or care, who the Jersey housewives or the Kardashians are? Am I the only one who thinks that the world has gone insane? There was an article in the newspaper this morning (are we the only ones who still get a daily newspaper?) that questioned the new wave of reality shows. There doesn’t seem to be any boundaries with all the social networking and reality shows.

    “Do reality shows really reflect reality as it really is...or maybe the shows promote less than ideal values, encourage less than ideal behavior and actually have contributed to our popular culture circling the drain.” The Oregonian, September 23, 2010

I also don’t get following your favorite “fill in the blank company or brand” on Facebook or Twitter. Who cares if I like Japanese Cherry Blossom scent from Bath and Body Works! I deactivated my Facebook account this morning. To be honest, Facebook made me feel “less than” and I want/need to feel like I am enough (thanks Brene Brown for that). I don’t want to sit on the edge of life, reading about other people’s busy, fun lives.

The fall season of television has begun and along with it, comes the choice of how much and what to watch. Russell and I have made a conscious decision to cut back on our TV watching. Since he rarely gets home before 7:30, we have approximately two – three hours in the evening together. We have discovered how wonderful Netflix is and how much we enjoy watching our favorite shows without commercial interruption. We bought Tivo’s about a year ago and absolutely love them. So with the fall TV schedule in hand, we’ve selected the shows that we will record and watch and which ones we will wait to come out on DVD. Our favorite shows are: Modern Family, The Middle, The Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds, NCIS and NCIS Los Angeles. We’re adding Hawaii Five-O to our list. What are you watching this fall?

 

It’s raining today and fall is definitely in the air. If the weather is cooperative this weekend, Russell and I are going to Hood River for another photography date. We have free tickets to the Hood River History Museum (you can get free tickets to a museum in the area by following this link), and then we’re driving the “Fruit Loop”, featuring orchards selling a variety of fruits. We’ll drive up the Columbia Gorge historic highway and stop at Multnomah Falls and Crown Point. With the leaves turning, we should get some great photos.

 

From Brene Brown's blog: "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, no matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough."

Why? Being Thankful

Another wonderful reminder of spring (don't you just love daffodils?!).

Why is it that when you CAN sleep in, you can't? Doesn't make sense...seems like our bodies would want that extra sleep, but no...after years of getting up at 5 am, my body seems adjusted to getting up at that time. Admittedly, I am a morning person and can get more done in the morning than later in the day.

Why is it that children, regardless of age, announce that tomorrow is their band concert (where was the parent notice?), and by the way, she has a collage that she needs to "whip up" by Wednesday. Hello, how long have you known about these two events? I thought that by this time in her schooling (senior year), she would be more on top of things...not so much. Spring break is next week and since I've been in school full-time, I'm looking forward to a week off...have nothing planned...sleeping in (ha ha), perhaps getting some scrapping done. Spring seems to be here and don't you just love daylight savings time? It was after 7:00 last night before it was dark...love that!!

It seems that there's always someone in our life who needs that extra prayer or a RAK...I'm working on being more conscious of that kind of thing. The Grandma of one of my dear ladies in my life group is in the hospital and not expected to make it. One of Shanna's good friends from school, who is a sophomore, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and is starting chemo this week. Shanna hasn't really had to deal with this kind of situation. From what I hear, the doctors think they've caught it early enough and that the chemo will work...praying for peace and healing.

 
Gratitude…more aware of what you have than what you don’t. Recognizing the treasure in the simple…a child’s hug, a golden sunset, relishing in the comfort of the common.

Be thankful today for health...for life...for friendship...for the everyday things that we each take for granted. Life is so very precious. My prayers are with Felicia and with Cindy's Grandma.

Music and Spring

I just realized that Daylight Savings Time starts this weekend, which makes me deliriously happy. I LOVE it when it's lighter outside. We've had some great spring days and while today is wet and windy, I have some fabulous photos I took on Saturday to share.

 
Spring is God thinking in gold, laughing in blue and speaking in green. 

 

Our daughter Shanna is in the Jazz band at her school and on Tuesday night, they played at Jimmy Mak's and fronted for the Mel Brown band. My sweet girl had a solo...don't you just love those moments of pure happiness when your child is using her God-given talents and everything is right with the world. I love that the kids are being exposed to the wonderful music of the big band era...Buddy Rich, Cole Porter. Good stuff.

Happy Thursday...only two days of school left for me this term. Looking forward to a bit of time off. Hoping to get some scrapping done and learn how to use Photoshop Elements 8 (I tried Photoshop CS4 and hated it!).

 

Dreaming of a White Christmas...Not!!!

 

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope your day is full of memory making moments, laughter, good food, friends and family, and of course, remembering and honoring the reason for the season. We're not having our normal Christmas...too much snow and ice. I know...everyone dreams of having a white Christmas...and yet, for us, we're really tired of snow...and yes, we are having a white Christmas. We currently have about 20" of snow, the highest recorded snowfall for Oregon on Christmas EVER...and it's still snowing. The resulting fall out is closed roads, traction devices required on all roads, and lots of canceled events...no Christmas Eve services, no restaurants open, grocery stores out of fresh food, no family get-together for us. Because of the snow and ice, deliveries of Christmas gifts (by UPS, FedEx and USPS) in Oregon and Washington have been delayed.

This weather has really brought home to me how thankful I am for the basics of life...how often do we stop and just express gratitude for having a warm home, food in the freezer and pantry, electricity (over 60,000 Oregonians are without power right now and have been for days)...the things that we take for granted. I've missed 4 days of work due to the weather but thanks to the marvel of electronics, I've been blessed to work at home. My husband, the UPS driver, hasn't been so lucky. Imagine pulling a handcart loaded with boxes through packed snow and ice for 12 hours...I know there are a lot of people disappointed and angry that their Christmas packages didn't get delivered...but I hope you'll extend grace and understanding to all those guys who have continued to work in extreme circumstances, to get as much delivered as possible.

Russell, Shanna and I opened our gifts last night...Shanna was anxious, as only a 16 year old who is hoping for money, can be...and Russell desperately needed to sleep in...he slept 12 hours last night. We had a lovely Christmas and watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, one of Shanna's favorite movies that she received in her stocking. It's interesting that our time-honored traditions can be put aside out of necessity, and yet, I find a peace and serenity in just being at home...weather like this forces us to slow down. The frantic last minute shopping (fortunately I finished my shopping weeks ago) didn't happen...neither did tons of cooking for the family dinner. No church service...just us...as a family. God has blessed us so much...Russell and I both have good jobs with great benefits, a home, a beautiful, funny daughter who proudly proclaims the name of Jesus...and we have love...thank you Jesus for this day to celebrate your birth. Thank you for the miracles and blessings that you pour on us each day. May your day and the new year be blessed with the love of Jesus.

Fall is Here...Elephant Update

It’s officially fall here in Oregon. The leaves are starting to turn…the air has that nip to it…and even when it’s sunny, you want to wear a sweater. As a kid, I hated fall…not the going back to school part but the turning of the weather. I grew up in Colorado

and fall signaled snow. I’m not an extreme weather girl…cold or hot and the winters were long and cold…and yes, I walked to school (uphill both ways!!). This photo was taken early last October in the Columbia Gorge.

In Oregon fall and winter brings the return of rain…and you know I’m okay with that. I always seem to have more time for scrapping in the fall and winter months (plus a new season of our favorite TV shows). I love walking through crunchy leaves. One of the things on my life list is to go to the New England states in the fall…I’ve seen photos of the beautiful fall foliage…we're not as dramatic, but it's still really pretty here.

Due in large part to Mr. Sam...the cute little elephant at the Portland Zoo (he’s one month old as of yesterday) we bought a family membership and are taking Shanna and my in-laws to see Sam this weekend. He’s so adorable...he’s gaining about 2.5 pounds a day. When we were watching him on Monday, he kept getting his back legs crossed and the only way he could figure out how to untangle himself was to walk backwards...what a hoot. The elephant keepers have the three female elephants "jog" every morning and they grab each others tails and run in a line...now Sam is joining them in the exercise lineup. Can you imagine how cute that would be to see!!

 

I'm so thankful for digital cameras...I love our Canon cameras. The amount of photos I've taken in the last week of just the baby elephant, the ocean and flower gardens numbered in the hundreds. Can you even imagine going back to a film camera? Do you know anyone who still uses a film camera?